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Not-So-Lovely Love
His breath on my neck and hands on my waist.
Yet I feel a terrible disgrace.
My stomach turned around
My mouth without sound
I am not alone yet I do not speak
I am scared and yet I peek
Into a world that isn't my home
I feel so terribly on my own
He's so sweet and careful with me
I just can't bring myself to see
That he is anymore than a close friend
I will hold my secret until the end.
What's wrong? he whispers into my ear
And I reply with a silent tear
Does this make you nervous? He comes once more
Little do I know he's got more in store
I'm not afraid. My little voice squeaks
And yet I know this isn't what he seeks.
His hand on my back and my skin tingles now
Then he takes his hands across his brow
I grab at my necklace to calm me down
My nerves have kicked in and my face turns to a frown
Hands creeping down the small of my back
Right now confidence is something I lack
So I do not speak or tell him I'm scared
I lay on back and he plays with my hair
He doesn't want to hurt me, just wants a girl
I don't want to hurt him, but I want to hurl
It's so dark that no one can see
That he's not trying to, but he's hurting me.
He reaches around me and grabs my hands
Mine are smooth, his are rough, like sand
It feels so good to have someone care
Though this is almost too much to bear.
What started as a friend who needed a back rub
Ended up with a boy falling in love
The girl sat back too scared to speak
And the boy held her, neither making a peep.
What's wrong, he says, you're all tense
Nothing, I utter, though the fib is immense
Lie, I hear his voice thorough the dark
I'm fine, there's just no spark
But can I tell him this? We've been friends for so long.
I'd really hate to do something wrong.
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