Emotion and I do not get along.
our relationship could possibly be considered somewhat abusive.
"Enemies" would be an understatement.
He just gets so out of hand and I don't know how to deal with him...
It often starts with clogged lungs and shallow breathing.
This is what I get for hiding him in the empty crevices of my ribcage.
I can feel your expectations burning holes in the walls of my heart
and emotion creeps into them, engulfing these cavities with the hollow ache of loneliness.
The bitterness seeps beneath the bars of his prison cell
He begins to escape completely
and the panic numbs my entire body.
My chest is overwhelmed with the feeling of implosion.
My legs buckle beneath the weight of the pain.
It is excruciating and indescribable.
I have failed to restrain him
so I fight in solitude until I regain control of my mind and body.
For he always escapes when I am alone.
My composure returns and I throw him into the corner of his cell, locking him away once more.
Harboring the key even from myself.
I'm sure you're thinking that this cannot be healthy for either of us.
But until I am unable to regain composure I refuse to ask for help. Mostly because I am afraid my requests would be ineffectual
and this might allow emotion to abscond once more
allowing the routine to repeat itself