Just Beneath the Surface | Teen Ink

Just Beneath the Surface

May 25, 2013
By RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner


To look into deep water
And only see your face reflected,
Is how I feel.
All things are interconnected,
Grasped by some force,
Almost gravitational,
That all paths have
Meanings and
Metaphorical resonances.

I never feel as
Wild as when
I look in the
Mirror and grin
Or as uncivilized.

The grin,
The mirror,
Are all things
Reflected?
Or is that only
Me?
Through the mirrors
Of time and
The pools of death,
Am I reflected
Through all of these?



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This article has 17 comments.


on Jan. 31 2014 at 4:54 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much!

on Jan. 25 2014 at 12:00 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

A great piece of work. It gives a deep meaning to simple things, but not with all the fluff and suspense that some authors lean towards; just simplicity. Well crafted. And going off of what some of the other comments said, I don't really think that repetition is a problem. In some cases it can be perfect; last year I went through this writing phase of repetition (repetition, repetition). In some cases it can get redundant, but I didn't see it as a problem here. Rather, I found it added to the poem. Great work, and keep on writing!

on Jan. 12 2014 at 6:37 am
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you! I'll try to keep that in mind!

on Jan. 11 2014 at 11:43 pm
Metalhead36 SILVER, Amherst, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. - Edgar Allan Poe

This is great, deep, descriptive and well worded. It's very smooth and rolls, be careful of repetition. Other than that, well done.  

on Jan. 11 2014 at 1:36 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much! That's so nice of you to say!

on Jan. 10 2014 at 11:53 am
KristenNoel ELITE, Mooresville, North Carolina
134 articles 0 photos 27 comments
What can I say? I love love love it!!! Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more of your writing!!!!!!!

on Nov. 11 2013 at 1:30 am
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates

I like it. To me there were a couple of stop-pauses in the flow of it though. but that might just be me haha. keep it up!

on Sep. 27 2013 at 5:48 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you once again! You guys brighten my day with your kind words and advice! 

on Sep. 6 2013 at 5:48 pm
DawnieRae BRONZE, Lancaster, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 218 comments
Wow this is definatly deep, all of your poems are! Really great job! 

on Jun. 14 2013 at 6:07 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much!! I appreciate you commenting on my work!

Silogram GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2013 at 9:41 am
Silogram GOLD, Radnor, Pennsylvania
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments
I like this piece a lot because as I read it I get a sense of a deep, pulling, chilling force, almost like being underwater. Good work!

on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:24 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much for the approval and for the constructive criticism! I'll work on that semi colon usage, I just feel that it looks rather awkward and doesn't feel like me when I write them. Also, Kurt Vonnegut had a very opinionated view on semi colons, if you're curious, look it up!

on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:10 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

This is a very clever piece, it is imaginative and gives out the theme, in a slightly hidden, but realistic way, making this an inteligent read. It is thought provoking and creates many images of things that reflect (as you have mentioned).
However, although some of the sentences do appear to be different and unique, which works greatly to its advantage, I would recomend using more semi collons ( ; ) to break up your lines instead of commas as it gives the poem a better tempo and understanding when reading it, as i found myself having to re-read parts.
This was still a very good piece, keep it up :)

on Jun. 3 2013 at 6:13 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much for commenting and for telling me to keep writing! Don't worry, I will, it's impossible for me not to!

OlveraJorge1 said...
on Jun. 3 2013 at 2:35 pm
This is deeply philisophical (In my perspective)  I enjoy this kind of work and cant seem to pull away until I've had my fill, KEEP WRITING!

on Jun. 3 2013 at 2:25 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you! Yeah, I got the same feeling as I wrote it!

bree_bree GOLD said...
on Jun. 3 2013 at 12:22 pm
bree_bree GOLD, Auburn, Kentucky
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
mistakes are made to be learned from.

It's almost chilling, in a non creepy way, but chilling none the less.