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Falling Stars

June 15, 2013
By Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
More by this author
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

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Catch me as I fall upwards

Lay me down in my cloud coffin

Fly with me on angel wings

Sing me our last anthem

Dream me the end of the story

And dance with me around the stars

before

we

fall

© Allison H., Vancouver, WA

The author's comments:
I don't really know where this came from, or if it's any good. But if you could just let me know what you think, I will listen
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.

Cindy152 SILVER said...
on Mar. 26 2014 at 7:49 am
Cindy152 SILVER, Medan, Other
8 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm kinda over getting told to throw my hands up in the air. So there.

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i love this! it's beautiful, smooth and simple. ;)) I've read all your works and I think you're an amazing writer! 
Mollybug16 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 30 2013 at 7:17 pm
Mollybug16 BRONZE, Cleveland, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
Impossible is not a word, it's just a reason for someone not to try.

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I like this I agree with Janelle J. it is simple and powerful. It has a good rhythm too. 5 stars. *
Nella.Girl97 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 20 2013 at 3:29 pm
Nella.Girl97 BRONZE, Ashland, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 437 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

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Love this! It is simple yet powerful! Keep writing...and possible read my work? Thanks!
AnInkling SILVER said...
on Sep. 30 2013 at 1:18 pm
AnInkling SILVER, Castle Rock, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be, when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?&rdquo; Switchfoot<br /> &ldquo;Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?&rdquo; Galatians 4:16

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I love the imagery in this poem! And the idea of a cloud coffin is very nice. However, "flying on angel's wings" and a few other parts are a bit cliché  and you might want to change them a little bit.
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD said...
on Sep. 6 2013 at 1:20 am
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.<br /> <br /> You are only as strong as your weakest link.

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Very dramatic and beautiful! I love that it's also open to interpretation. :)
OldYoungOne said...
on Aug. 22 2013 at 2:56 pm
I love it. To me the part of being in the skies is an expression of living at the highest ad fullest. Being happy-- or should I say hihgh?-- off life or a moment. Small words but there is great room for interpretation and enjoyment. Well done.
dbk1098 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 11 2013 at 9:05 pm
dbk1098 PLATINUM, Rockville, Maryland
20 articles 0 photos 40 comments
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This is amazing!!! Few words and easy to read but soooo powerful!!!
Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 7:19 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.&quot;<br /> Henry David Thoreau<br /> <br /> &quot;I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once.&quot;<br /> John Green

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Wow!!! I absolutley love this poem's structure and unique rythym. This theme is brilliant, and flexible with ideas. You painted a picture in my mind that was so vivid yet mysterious, which is what good poets do to their readers. Brilliant!
UniquePerspective SILVER said...
on Jul. 2 2013 at 7:09 pm
UniquePerspective SILVER, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The most pathetic thing in the world is to see, and yet have no vision.&quot; - Hellen Keller<br /> &ldquo;Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don&#039;t matter and those who matter don&#039;t mind.&rdquo; - Dr. Seuss (Theodore Giesel)

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I love it, it reminds me of how I feel around someone that I wish loved me.
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2013 at 9:05 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light&quot; --Dylan Thomas

View profile
I think that every poem I write is an experimentation because they are all kinda different and similar. I don't know how i really intended people to see or what to get out of this, but i appreciate all of your comments :)
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2013 at 9:03 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light&quot; --Dylan Thomas

View profile
Thanks! That means a lot :)
BalladOfMonaLisa PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 26 2013 at 7:19 pm
BalladOfMonaLisa PLATINUM, Na, Other
24 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love and to be loved; to hurt and to be hurt. These are the ideals that make up humanity. ~Me (Lisa)

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Wow, its so simple but someaningful. I love it. Keep writing! :D
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 4:54 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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To me, this is just so simple. But the emotion in it, is just so profound. To many, it may seem insignificant, but to people like us that wanna be love or are...I don't know...it means so much. The imagery you use, as with all your poems, is just vivid. I love the title. It drew me in. And everything about it. Lovely. I love how you used no punctuation. Are you experimenting? As always, you're awesome with your writing. Never cease to write. Never.