Patiently Deteriorating | Teen Ink

Patiently Deteriorating

July 28, 2013
By TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.


I am a cold corpse
Dead as the stone surrounding me
Years unending
I've lain to rot
In the dirt
With the dust
Forever I've waited
And jealously watched
Building patience for the day
That another corpse
May come along
And lay to rot beside me



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This article has 4 comments.


on Oct. 29 2013 at 10:17 am
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

Thank you Jade, your comments are always appreciated. I am glad you liked it:)

on Oct. 28 2013 at 1:44 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

I LOVE THE BOLDNESS OF THE FIRST LINE. It just hits you, and you're like, okay, time to take this poem seriously :P I love everything about this poem, and it agree—it's sort of depressingly optimistic. Awesomeeeee

on Aug. 19 2013 at 10:57 am
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

Death and age may not be bad, but decay conjours images of things that are vile.   i love that line. and thank you very much for looking at this! im suprised someone so quickly caught on, but it makes me happy. 

on Aug. 17 2013 at 10:45 pm
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I&#039;d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I&#039;d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye&#039;s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example&#039;s always clear.&rdquo; -Edgar Guest

This sounds depressingly optimistic. Its a more fatalistic and gothic version of the phrase "lets grown old together", and somehow equally romantic. It means the same thing, "i want someone I can die with" or, as you put it "...jealously watched/..../ that another corpse/ may come along/ and lay to rot beside me." It is gut wrenchingly lovely. I prefer the old way of saying it, though. Death and age may not be bad, but decay conjours images of things that are vile.