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Grieving Over You

October 9, 2013
By Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
More by this author
Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown. ~James Moriarty

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“This isn’t real.”
“You’re still here.”
“We’re the same.”
Being alone is my greatest fear.
“You’re so stupid!”
“This isn’t fair!”
“You’re so dumb!”
I thought you’d always care.
“I’ll do anything
If you come back.”
“Anything at all.”
Without you I’m gonna crack.
“No more hope.”
“So alone.”
“Never again.”
You left me prone.
“But it’s okay.”
“I’m all right.”
“I forgive you now.”
I’m back in the light.

© Robby M., Franklin, TN

The author's comments:
This is a poem about going through the process of grieving.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 6 comments.

ChristianGuild GOLD said...
on Nov. 14 2013 at 8:13 am
ChristianGuild GOLD, Grand Ledge, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Perception is reality.

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One of my least favorite emotions, and you expressed it with such elegance. 5 Stars! Great Job :)
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER said...
on Nov. 7 2013 at 3:14 pm
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
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I love it. This really hits home with me, as I recently lost my grandmother. I love the way you write it in quotes. Keep it up.
Tamy24 said...
on Oct. 30 2013 at 8:18 pm
Tamy24, Brooklyn, New York
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That's a great poem. I could feel the pain that you expressed in this piece. At first you were feeling broken because he left you then at the end you forgave him. That is what love is all about, you learn to forgive the person who hurt and then once you forgive them you move on with your life and be happy. I love how the poem was so structured from sad to happy. Good job, you were born to be a Writer.
Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2013 at 1:34 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
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I really like your approach to this. the pattern of three quotes and a longer line is really unusual but creative. i just feel like you could have taken it a little deeper. it feels kind of veige. keep writing!
BreakAwayFromMe said...
on Oct. 23 2013 at 11:02 pm
BreakAwayFromMe, Big Island, Other
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Loved it :) I think it does a really great job of describing the grieving process.... At first I thought the rhymes didn't fit, but when I read it out loud I realized it was perfect c: Wonderful :D
RKing BRONZE said...
on Oct. 17 2013 at 7:59 pm
RKing BRONZE, Abergavenny, Other
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Hey!
First off, I enjoyed this! I think it's a great way of showing the grieving process, I like the simplistic approach and the structure, but I feel like it goes too fast for the grieving process. It seems like grieving would be a long process whereas this poem is fast paced.
Maybe I'm missing a point here and being really blonde, but I hope this is useful :)
But all in all, I enjoyed this! :)