I just want to feel something that isn't self-inflicted.
I'm sick of forcing a smile, to avoid all their questions.
I never saw the point in honesty anyway,
When I don't think the truth is something they could understand.
I guess I've always been the quiet type.
But not because I'm shy.
I just know what it's like,
To feel like every time you speak, it's down the barrel of a gun...
So you don't speak at all.
I keep my head down, but I do my best to be strong,
Though I don't feel strong. I feel like giving up.
I try convincing myself that I'll be fine,
But when you've killed everything you love,
You just don't feel alive anymore.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this now.
Maybe just for myself.. To ease my troubled mind.
Sometimes I feel like everybody is watching me.
They're all just waiting for their chance to say "I told you so".
I'm on a wire. If I fall, it's all over. No pressure.
I'm scared to take another step. Just let me catch my breath.
I should have never been so selfish, I'm sorry,
It was never my intention to destroy you, forgive me, please.
If I could take it back, you know I'd give anything.
Maybe I was just meant to be broken and to break things.
Maybe this is it, and this is all there is for me.