here was a time I thought relationships were
as simple as “you” and “I” morphing into “we”
I thought life was a swing set that would
Sometimes leave us facedown against the woodchips
And a relationship meant
Someone would be there to nourish every wound

Little did I know
When you give people your life
They have the ability to transform into swing sets themselves
And fling you off them
But soon after smile slyly, assuring you that
The fall was fun because at least you got to
F l y

It’s because of swing set boys and girls that
People learn to confuse love with hurt-
Tell me,
What are you supposed to feel when you’re dealing with something
As messy as a three year old
Eating without a bib?

Is it good, or bad to know you
Can only give your heart to those
Who will water it like a garden
Until it sprouts flowers? And how can you
Possibly distinguish butterflies from bees
In your stomach
Without ripping the lining out?

Love is the only thing that can suffocate hurt
With a plastic bag, but hurt can hold
Love underwater until it drowns and
I am determined to find someone
Who understands that those two are not the same:
Just because I’m hurt doesn’t mean I can’t possibly love again
But I cant possibly find joy in swing sets
No matter how many times you tell me you’ll hold my hand
While I swing.

I’m sorry I no longer give out second chances
Like a free-for-all and
I balance on a tight rope between
Letting you in and sacrificing myself
And I’m re-learning how to be straight forward
Instead of harboring pieces of me and
I can only hope someday after opening up
Someone
Will care for me as much as I used to care for you.