There was a time I shook with shame
With fear of failure and
With a heart considered tame.


There was a time I held the knife
With shaking hand and
With no sure regrets.


There was a time I hid behind clothes
With long sheltering sleeves but only
Because the lines revealed the hurt.


There was a time I'd lost all hope
When numb was a goal and
My noose wasn't just of rope.

There was a time I starved
And ran and hid and lied until
The only me I knew was a memory.


There was a time I refused affection
With venomous fear disguised
As independent anger.

There was a time I left town determined
To remain the very same but
With hopeless stride returned changed.


There was a time I lost all “sanity”
When I stopped trying to pretend;
When I lost all fragile control.


There was a time I let God love
The broken pieces I learned
To hate with such passion.


There was a time
I let Him free me.