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Someday
Everyone gets there, in the end
That point in your life that does more than scare you
There isn’t even a word for that kind of terrified
There doesn’t need to be
Deep down, we all know anyway
That kind of fear
It sits in your stomach
First as anger
Then as sadness
And then as a deep, gut-wrenching pain
There is no escape
Pain like that takes different forms for different people
In the end it doesn’t matter
Dragging you down to the everlasting dark
To the land where all you can hear is the screaming of a thousand souls
Calling for you to listen
Not one of them listens to you
You can’t trust anyone
Not your family-
They will tell you it will get better
Maybe it will
Someday
Not your friends
It hurts to much to see their confusion
About you
Or what is left of you
Finally when things get so bad you try to tell someone
You choke
Not wanting to worry them
Not wanting to burden them
Not wanting to let them share your pain
You remember, faintly, the time before
You saw, for a split second, what you were becoming
And hated it
By that time though, you stood alone
So you kept going, kept changing
There wasn’t anything left for you to do.
Sometimes I think I can see the end
That is what keeps me going
Too often, it is only a dead end
But you live in hope
That something will change
And you can start over.
Someday
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