And though laughter dances on her lips,
Scars find their home on her hips.
And the nights of saying I love you have softly trickled
Into an unspoken sentence neither one wants to admit.
And if I awoke tomorrow and you weren’t besides me,
what I would do, I fear.
Because its unuttered sentence,
the kiss you didn’t mean,
and days of waiting for one of us to kill selves
so the other doesn’t have to deal with us that have left us yearning for the next day after day.
This pattern has become my safety blanket
my one shred of hope in the abyss I call life.
So darling excuses my scars,
my nervous titter,
the way I ring my hands when you make me uneasy.
Because it only means I am trying to stay alive so that you won’t have to miss me.