In Star Wars, Han Solo slashed open a Tauntaun and let Luke sleep inside of its warm guts.
I want to be that Tauntaun.
Now, let my explain, my darling.
It's not that I have a thing for Luke Skywalker.
No, I want you to be Luke Skywalker.
On the night you told me your grandmother was in the hospital, you'd hardly said a word all day.
I knew something was wrong.
I tried asking weird questions,
I would've used my sarcasm, a corny joke, anything to make you smile.
But I knew you wouldn't.
So as we texted back and forth about how I thought you should drive the six hours there, six hours back trip to visit her.
And how you know your parents would say no.
As I told you how in the morning I would give you the biggest hug of all time,
And you dared me to find you.
As I tried to make you smile, I knew you wouldn't.
When we were talking about how we were complete opposites,
Deciding that I was Yang and you were Yin,
You said you were Yin because you're a cold, dark person that's very down to earth.
And I am Yang because I am a bright happy light, nice, good and kind.
And I thought to myself that if that's true, I have to keep him warm.
So my darling,
My sweetheart,
Slash me open.
Break my rib cage and crawl inside.
Tuck yourself into the cracks of my heart.
Every tiny crevice, every fracture of my being is simply more space for you to fill.
And once you are safe inside of my chest, glue my ribs back in place. Stitch up my torn skin from the inside.
Try not to move around too much.
Stay warm and safe and happy.
And when you are done sleeping, break your way back out of my body.
Slip your way up through my esophagus and dive out of my mouth like I am a water slide.
Or kick at my bones until they all turn to dust, and claw at the inner linings of my skin until you are poking your head out of where my bellybutton should be.
Tell me I am beautiful, and leave.
Go on to your adventures,
But do not forget me.
Do not forget the girl who wore a sweatshirt in the hot Louisiana summers,
But had enough warmth inside her to share with you.
Take that warmth as a reminder,
A piece of me I have given to you so that you are never cold again.
Take it. It's yours.
I insist.
Without you, what is there to be warm for anyway?
Without you, I'm just a TuanTuan, dead and rotting.
Be my Luke Skywalker.
And I will be your TuanTuan.