Today I lived and loved:
I lived through first hour’s French test.
Loved a girl.
Lived through second hour’s English test.
Loved a boy.
Loved a boy.
Loved a girl.
Tried to love myself.
Stopped loving.
Tried living.
Third hour brought music.
And silence.
And meuschters (staplers).
And I loved a boy.
Lunch was sushi and debate over the Electoral College.
Lunch was a little bit of friends.
And a little bit of honesty.
Lunch was telling myself I didn’t need oven-baked, super-hot, Cheetos.
Lunch was a stomach-ache.
Lunch was love.
Lunch was a boy.
Lunch was, “he’s leaving?”
Lunch was painpainpain confusion desire pain hunger conflict.
BELL.
Fourth hour was logic, reason, and love.
Fourth hour was a girl.
Fourth hour was fear.
Fourth hour was guilt.
Fourth hour was sleep.
Fourth hour was over.
BELL.
Too long before fifth hour.
Too long.
Tick.
Too long.
Clipped words.
Sweaty clothes.
Old perfume.
Timetimetime.
BELL.
5 minutes.
3.
I was in fifth hour.
1.
I wore sweats.
We didn’t play a game.
Fifth hour was sweat.
Fifth hour was painpainpain.
He loves me.
He loves me not.
Fifth hour was almost boxing.
Almost angry.
Lovelovelove.
Goodbye, cold fountain.
Hello, shirtless.
Hello, old deodorant.
Hello, smelly bag.
Goodbye, pessimist.
Goodbye, not-so-bad softball player.
Runrunrun.
Soda machine prayer.
Money inserted once.
Twice.
That’s the charm.
Magic.
Voltage.
Joy.
Brief, full, happy.
Over.
BELL.
Rounding the corner was lovelovelove.
He didn’t see.
There was no sixth hour.
No yes.
There was.
Gov test.
Boyboyboyloveboyvoltagejoy.
BELL.
Assembly?
Yes!
Rush, Alex, rush, Alex, rush.
Elbow.
High-five.
Working hands.
Shoulder.
Hip.
Awkward.
Bites lip.
Locker dump.
Back to class.
Book dump.
Back to gym.
Friends.
Not the right kind.
Searching.
Guilty.
Awkward.
Sorrysorry.
Where is he?
Hair, no, hair, no, lime green shirt, no.
Up, down.
Left, right.
There!
Found: boy.
Not looking.
Beautifulbeautiful.
Sad.
Beautiful.
Curious.
Sad.
Up.
Girl!
Found: girl.
Look and look and…
Poke!
What?
Oh.
Who?
Oh.
…?
Tiredcrazyhihappyohnoonejustsomeonehi.
High-five.
Awkward.
Curious.
Guilty.
Sorrysorry.
Am I her Girl?
Game.
Hoorahhoorah.
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Glance quick.
Not looking.
Beautifulbeautiful.
Sad.
Beautiful.
Both: beautiful.
Wrong!
Sad!
Guilty!
Hoorahhoorah!
Fight!
Fight!
Sad!
Fight!
Beautiful!
Fight!
Boy!
?
Fight!
Girl!
?
Fight!
Both!
?
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!