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study on some modern relationships

April 18, 2014
By Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
More by this author
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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what are we gonna do with no way out?
you asked, the brown spheres of your irises
searching for the answer i didn’t have

once upon a time, there was no way in
no mode of peeling the pearl carapace
around your heart and soul and spirit

then one day, i drew a line across the
sea of your heart, soul, and spirit
the fleshy pieces parted halfway

when i delve into the clear blue water
the love that we thought would flourish
dissolved in the cyanide of our indifference

and finding no exit with the neon
lights pointing out the remedy
we didn’t move but stood still

dumbstruck and befuddled
ruing each moment that crumbled
like the pillars of an old roman temple

© Edgard B., Coral Springs, FL

The author's comments:
Kept listening to Lana del Rey's "West Coast", and thinking about how some people now even thought they break up have to live together—no choice: the lines poured forth thereafter.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 17 comments.

dkat_ SILVER said...
on Apr. 9 2018 at 11:45 pm
dkat_ SILVER, Boca Raton, Florida
8 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo

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From the very first line, I knew that this was going to be a great poem. Great job!
Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 30 2015 at 6:06 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Thank you!
Pat_543 SILVER said...
on Feb. 19 2015 at 4:13 pm
Pat_543 SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.&quot; -Seneca<br /> &quot;What is in the way becomes the way&quot; - Marcus Aurelius

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Great poem! The words truly convey the emotions of love, and its unfortunate decay. 10/10.
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 28 2014 at 9:39 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Thanks! And YESH! Lana sings to the soul. Love her so much. 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 28 2014 at 9:39 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Chris, it's been centuries! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Your feedback makes my day. Thank you, my friend. 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 28 2014 at 9:38 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
It's not in it's finished form...yet. I'm still working with your editorial advices for this child of mine. Thanks for reading. Always appreciate it. ^j^
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 28 2014 at 9:37 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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I'll try as soon as possible. No promises, but I'll definitely will some time. :)
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jul. 14 2014 at 2:37 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

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Dat cyanide, though. I loved that line in this poem :) Excellent job. Find myself getting into Lana Del Ray as well, btw. XD 5/5
ChrisJ PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 6 2014 at 7:55 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.&rdquo;<br /> - Martin Luther King Jr.

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I crave this piece. Clever wording and a GREAT use of vocabulary. Another job well done Mckay 5/5!
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Jul. 5 2014 at 7:17 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

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Glad to see this in it's final form :) Love it! Dark, and beautifully worded.
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 4:23 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
thank u. and plz do. tell me what u think of it. 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 4:22 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
thanks. 
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 17 2014 at 11:41 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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I liked the details in your imagery, really great work. (very intimidating as well for me)
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD said...
on May. 25 2014 at 11:42 pm
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.<br /> <br /> You are only as strong as your weakest link.

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I LOVE IT! What struck me the most was your use of really strong words like fleshy, cyanide, neon, and crumbled. Simply amazing! I think I'm going to have to go listen to that song now :) 
haley101 DIAMOND said...
on May. 1 2014 at 8:29 pm
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

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your very welcome! I'd love it if you could check out some of my work.   
Mckay ELITE said...
on May. 1 2014 at 2:30 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
thanks for reading & commenting :)
haley101 DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 28 2014 at 10:13 am
haley101 DIAMOND, Windsor, Connecticut
70 articles 5 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> ― Mary Oliver

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this first stanza is very interesting. I like the description of eyes and glances that you use.