I've torn myself apart, kicked my hopes and dreams to the side. I've harmed myself lied about it saying "It was an accident." I have turned away from others who have tried to help me and lost them forever. I cry inside but smile on the outside. I joke around like nothings wrong but once I'm alone I just doubt myself as a person. People compliment me and I agree but look in the mirror and see a monster, a monster I hate to see staring back at me. I'm in my own war. My mind is the battlefield and my body is the weapon. My fingers are my razors. My wrists are my pain healer. I cut and cut and once I cut its like bittersweet alcohol, drugs, or money, a type of addiction I have created that no rehab can help stop. Can I stop? Will I stop?