I open my eyes, my brother is shouting my name. I can see him, but my ears are ringing so I can’t hear his yells. I know what he is saying, though. He is running, I think. I see him mouth my name again slowly, the whole world is in slow motion. Ears ringing. The slow motion stops, and the ringing dulls. Again, I see Nicholas shout, “Mary Anne!”, but this time I hear him too. I’m laying down outside, but I’m moving. Then it goes dark.
When I open my eyes again, I feel panic, “Where is she”, I say, but the fancy men cannot hear me. They are talking loudly, and quickly, “GET that…NOW...I don’t….IV in HER ARM...I can’t TELL...”, I can’t understand them. I ask them again, “Where is she?”. I try to look at my hand, it’s resting on my stomach and when I lift it as much as I can, but I see red and it goes dark again. Ears ringing.
I dream that Nicholas and I are playing outside. The little girl is climbing a tree and laughing. I don’t know who she is, but I am happy knowing that she is there, that she is safe. She is familiar, and very pretty with subtle blond curly hair. I look away. When I look back, the tree is on fire and I can’t reach her. She is stuck, and I am screaming silently, she is calm, more ringing. Darkness.
I open my eyes, I know it must have been days, weeks, since I drempt. My eyelids are heavy and I might be crying. There is a light shining down at me and figures around me and I am confused. They look like aliens, all green with masks on. They are looking at me with worried eyes. Then the one closest to me puts a mask on me, and I, too, feel like an alien, but soon after I fall back asleep.
This time I remember. I’m laying on the bathroom floor in my robe, my toothbrush in my hand, I am crying. My stomach and neck are throbbing and I think my ankle is broken, but I can’t feel anything but fear. I look around, I see blood and the room spins. I hear crying, I pull my self to the hallway, ears ringing. I am hot, there is smoke. I hear her crying and screaming, but I can’t see her. I open my eyes and I, too, am screaming.
I don’t recognize anything, where am I? Nicholas is next to my bed touching my hair. “Mary Anne, it’s alright.” My vision blurs, but I can still see him, I try to focus. “Where is she?”, I whisper. Nicky smiles a gentle, sad smile. I think he might be crying too. He says back, just loud enough for me to hear it, “I don’t know.”. He touches my cheek. Ears ringing, everything goes dark.