Please put down the bleach and pick up the Prozac | Teen Ink

Please put down the bleach and pick up the Prozac

May 11, 2014
By EmmaSJacobs GOLD, London, Other
EmmaSJacobs GOLD, London, Other
18 articles 6 photos 0 comments

I don’t feel worthy of your pain
To feel your cuts and watch your heart break
You’re arms paper thin showing your vein
And I know when you see them blood is all you want to take
A short-term solution to which you claim
It’s not as though I can tell you it’s a mistake
You’ll shrug it off and say it’s your choice to make
But I want to help ease your load
Take some of the hurt and heal the burn

You didn’t ask for a massive d*** of a father
And I know you want to become a martyr
Dying to end the pain
A quick-fix solution supplied by a blade
Slicing your skin was only the starter

I got worried each day you weren’t in school
My mind running rampage of things you would do
Drunken words are sober thoughts
And my god you’re no drunken fool
Precision was amongst the slurred calls
Your words unleashing your dark pursuits
Fantasies that leave one shaking in their boots.

I remember the first time you told me about Prozac
Your little helper that keeps you intact
You thought I’d judge about the happiness you lacked
A little embarrassed there was no need to hide the fact
Instead I embraced you and held close
Willing to never let go.

Textbook move on your behalf
Booty Call are supposedly a laugh
Guys loved you for your curves and kindness
But also your lack of reservation
You were desperate for any sort of sensation
So you let them touch and pry
To your cuts and burns they turned an eye
But baggy shirts and layers couldn’t hide the hurt
The years of neglect had left a rough turf
And yes when your name was ushered it got boys alert
But self-loathing isn’t solved by being a flirt.

I can see behind that smile of yours
The real one, not the one that your force
The wide one when you flash your teeth
If only for a second of course
And the skin beneath your eyes does wrinkle
As you even let your brown eyes twinkle
And that’s all I need, that glimmer of hope
To help you stand up and be able to cope
It’s a change from those voids being red from the dope.


I’ve learnt by now I have to stop giving you vodka
And excuse me now but I must go on to preach
For first of all you look so gross when you chunder
But it also brings out a side that makes me impeach
As the powers of vodka are to your happiness a leech
And your little helper is put in the corner
As nothing scared me more than you grabbing the bleach
As you held carving knife to arm ready to act
As I held your hair back and stroked your cheek
You told me you could take no more
Reciting a speech you knew by heart
Questioning why I cared
Answering how your weren’t worth it
As your eyes glared over and lost their focus
From that moment on I swore I’d never let go
I’d hold your hand even if you were low.


The author's comments:
This is about a friend with whom I got so drunk on our last day of secondary school, that she vomited in our leavers assembly in front of our year of 300 and teachers.

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