This is a story about nothing. I have nothing to say about anything.
Anything. Such a big word. Not in length but in heart.
I would do anything to not be nothing.
But here I am. Stuck. Again.
I’m always stuck. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I have friends. But where are they now?
This isolated desert shows neither sign nor footprints of other travelers.
I wander around. Searching. Yearning.
Hoping to get better. Never making progress.
What is the point of school? This herd of people merely resemble cattle.
High school. The best time of your life.
Supposedly.
Lies.
You broke me.
“One day we will be free.”
Why did you lie?
Sticks and stones my break my bones
Your words will always hurt me
So what am I left to do?
You left me and now I am alone
Help me understand
You always knew what to say
I miss you
But we can’t talk anymore
Your phone just rings and rings
Endless.
Why?
Why did you die?
Why did you leave?
I didn’t get to say good bye
Now I am alone
Who is left?
For me to call when I am lost?
Afraid?
This isolated desert shows neither sign nor footprints of other travelers
I miss you
More than I can handle
I never got to tell you that.
We never got to say goodbye
Share a hug
Or a good cry
But that’s all I do anymore

It was always us against the world
But the world got to you
Left you swinging from a tree
Fifteen and gone
No graduation, marriage, or life in your future.
You have no future
That was a choice you made
It left everyone else hanging
Wondering.

But here I am
Alone
Life feels pointless
Am I turning into you?
You were the first person
To even say Hello
When I was new
And terrified
September 4th just wasn’t the same
I looked for your face
Buried in the crowd
But you were nowhere to be found
I haven’t been to see you
I’ll admit I’m too afraid
I’m not sure I’m ready to see
That granite piece above your grave

Someone once told me
Each day is a day
So live one day at a time
If I lived in the moment
I swear I would break
From the pain
Sadness
Emptiness
Nothingness

Suicide
The final solution
A temporary problem
Too much reality
A half page obituary
Your funeral
The worst day of my life
To see you lying there
Was more than my weak heart could take

Time marches on
But I will never forget
My best friend
You are never gone to me