Maybe I should give up,
Just hide my face in sorrow and shame,
How could I ever go on?
What about the quote that says “live life to the fullest”?
How is that possible when everything I do is so wrong?
The stares, the names, the pain,
Its the story of my life,
Welcome to it,
I have the story and scars to prove my grief,
The word pathetic repeats in my mind over and over again,
Pathetic they say, pathetic,
I wonder if they know I am human,
A human who makes mistakes but keeps trying,
I walk by the crowd as if their invisible,
But I can feel their harsh stares,
I glide by with my head low and feet dragging,
I cant believe I'm letting them get to me,
My body is yelling at me to feed it but I refuse,
My skin tells me to stop cutting it with the blood is cries,
I'm sorry I whisper,
But I know that no one can hear me,
I look up at the stars,
Wishing I could just let go of the grass and be up there with them,
I feel like a stranger in a strange place,
Lost and alone,
Broken and ugly,
Only if I had someone here with me that knew,
That knew what I was going through,
But I'm alone,
Forever,
My only friends are the voices that talk to me inside my rattled head,
They say they will stick beside me,
But they end up leaving me to,
Over and over again I get broken down,
Even when I was just built up,
I lost the war,
I'm down and wounded,
Can I ever be saved?
Tears start to fall down my cold, irritated cheeks,
I close my eyes hoping to find my hope again,
Its lost,
Just like me in a crowded school hall,
Its the loneliness place to be,
Faces pass me with a blur,
My eyes lower to the ground,
I tell myself over and over again,
To make no eye contact,
I try to scream but my mouth won't make a sound,
I see the fire in their eyes,
Theres no love,
Theres no happiness,
All of a sudden my life turned to a dark, big hole,
I'm blamed and blamed and blamed again,
For just being me,
The actions I do are judged,
My life is judged,
Everyone gets mad at me,
I'm starting to believe maybe it is my fault,
Maybe I'm the reason these people are living in hatred,
I'm not the victim anymore,
I think I'm the suspect.