I cross my legs
uncross and re-cross
watch the white bandage fill with a red clot
I cross my legs
my feet tap without my own command
it is a vicious animal
a smoking gun through flesh
I hear the questions
the questions
the silence that slices
the chair has wheels and she sits
beside me
with her eyes payed to care
her presence is a cavity
rotting beside me
the floor is coated with grey carpet
she asks me what I am thinking
I am blue in the
face from starring at the sky
I uncross my legs
she touches my hand
my forehead
the shakes
no I am not doing this on purpose
I say
I want to leave
I want to leave
this enclosed box
room
this office
she stands firm
guarding the door
afraid I will escape
I will escape
standing with my back to them
I reply to questions with nods
of no and yes
the tears strangle my own
flesh
and every thing
sounds like the emergency sirens
of an ambulance.