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Thoughts of the Drowning
I'm lost in a void
A place so utterly dark
That I forget what sunshine looks like
No one can help me out
I made it out once before
I should have known I wouldn't be out for long
But I never thought you would be the one
The one to push me down
And walk away without a second glance
My smile is as fake as ever
I wish someone could see right through it
He just holds my hand
He's so blinded by his love fore me
That he can't see I'm lost
He can't see I'm drowning
I can't breathe
I choke on black water
I scream for help
But it's cut short
All you hear is gurgling
You'd never look back
You're so sure I'm alright
So sure I've moved on
Sometimes I think I have too
They say it's meant to be
That if someone leaves
It's over and it's because there's someone better
So I guess my someone better is him
That's why I tell him I love him
I really hope I do
I know I do
Maybe he'll miss me when I'm gone
Still at the bottom here
Beneath miles and miles of this black water
That has swallowed me up
He'll come to my funeral
He'll tell the world that he'll love me forever
For the many years after I'm gone
That's more than I can say for you
Why did I let you push me
Back into this abyss?
You brought me higher and farther away
From this black water than I'd ever been
But you put me back there just the same
Do you know how long it took to get out?
Do you care?
You think it wasn't that long
That I wouldn't fall so hard
That it wouldn't hurt so much when you
Left
It's not right
And they scoff at me
Don't cry over spilled milk
So I don't tell them anymore
I fill my words with the useless banter
Of new love
New hope
But how can I hope
Hope for him to stay
Hope for happiness
Let myself fall again
When I never got back up in the first place
How can I hope
When I'm drowning
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