Life can easily trick you. It is easy to become blind by this notion that you know everything, that you understand all of the world's subtleties, the mind's games, and the heart's misconceptions. You get high on the ultimate drug, which is pride. Pride in this almost religious belief that you, and only you, really understand, that only you can really grasp what is to be alive, what is to be weak.

There is a sick irony that I have come to recognize. It is in the alley ways of my inadequacy that I am my most reckless. Inadequacy is the dealer who lurks in shadows, just visible enough that you can see him but hidden enough that you cannot see the gun tucked in his belt.

You think because you see him you are safe.

You think because you are not scared of the shadows that you are brave.

Awareness of self is a double-edged sword.

It is that which helps you find the dealer, but it is also that which gets you shot.