***
I am from screaming and running as water flies from one house to another.
from peddling as houses blur by, to get to Boy Blue.
I am from the block that comes together as one, sharing laughs and memories.
from that whistle to tell me it’s time to call it a night.
I am from a group of neighbors going to the skate park.
from moving away and moving on.
I am from a family that broke over issues.
from learning to do things by myself, with half a family to getting additions, learning to accept.
I am from being called pooh bear to an adult.
from a little, pigtailed, dirty girl to an independent women.
I am from learning new tricks on four wheels and getting to a new level in dance.
from new puppies, new homes, and new families.
***
I wish to grow up with mud in my toes and chasing the sheep.
to waking up from chickens not alarms.
I wish I had fields to run till I couldn’t breath.
to hear the crickets at night.
I wish I had a plan, to grow up and have it figured out.
to have a family again.
I wish there wasn’t fighting or drama.
to have those middle school friends again.
I wish we didn’t have to grow up (at least quickly)
to take on the world alone.
I wish we didn’t have to relearn what was taught.
to carry on the last 18 years of life.
***
I will be hearing those pitter-patters run across the floor each morning.
and will sit quietly until those antlers are seen.
I will be doing what I can to support my family.
and not allowing my childhood to repeat.
I will be giving the love I share to family and friends.
and to give my kids the things I didn’t have.
I will be making sure they do to a well educated school.
and excelling in any way they can.
I will make sure they get the chance to try what they want.
to be that mom that screams from the side.
I will be using my own path and not my parents.
to be me and no one else.
***
I am from childhood memories to dreams and wishes to new goals.