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Falling
Four and a half months
and countless pages later,
it's still the same old story
of the night falling with my tears.
My humpty-dumpty heart
has fallen once more
and now matter how long it's been,
it seems that no one
can put my heart back together again.
Sometimes memories of you will strike me
right in the back of my head,
landing a blow
and catching me off-guard,
the way a thief
mugs the innocent--
sudden.
Ruthless.
Sharp.
I'll be walking with myself
intact
when suddenly
I'll flash back
to the time you put your head
on my shoulder,
or when I watched you
play basketball at night,
or the night I snuck out
to see you,
and each time I remember,
it'll knock the breath
and hope
right out of me,
making me plummet to the ground
over
and over
again,
and I wonder if this
is what people call
"dying."
Most days I'll be soaring above the clouds
but then a glimpse of you
will drag me back down below,
and the thought of you
talking to another girl
shatters me
like a bullet piercing a window,
and soon I'm splintered
in all directions,
and I can't see past you anymore.
Four and a half months later:
I still miss you.
You.
You.
You.
The ache will sit in my chest
for seconds
or weeks
at a time,
and my heart is always asking
when you're coming back,
and when I answer that
you're not,
it falls silent,
and everything in my world
falls with it.
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