I’m my own bully.
No one is as mean or cruel to me as I am.
You’re fat!
You’re not pretty!
You don’t have any friends!
These thoughts occurred on the daily.                                                       

My self esteem withered to a low.
An extremely dangerous low.
My bully took over.
All I heard was her.
Putting me down.                                                                                       

Everything was always my fault, she told me.
I was never good enough.
Nothing I ever did was up to her standards.                                              

I became anxious and scared of her.
She took a new form of bullying.
She went from verbal to physical abuse.
She was worse than before.                                                                      

My parents noticed how badly she was hurting me.
They realized I needed help.
I realized I needed help.                                                                           

I came face to face with my bully hundreds of times during therapy sessions.
The most difficult part was admitting to her abuse.
Admitting to how I let her take control.
But eventually, I shut her out.
The mean, judgmental, self-hating part of me was almost non-existent.                      

With her gone, a part of myself I almost forgot about was able to come through.
I was happy, confident, and healthy.
I finally stood up to my bully, and it worked.
Although, every so often she tries to come back.
She tries to take over my life again.
But it doesn't work…                                                                                                      

Because now, I know what to do.