Sometimes, I wonder if you miss me.
It was hard to see you leave, and I know it was harder for you to go.
The saddest moment of my life was when I heard those damning words.
“Her heart’s not beating.”
I pressed my hands to your still-warm chest, trying to prove those awful words wrong.
I leaned into your soft fur and cried harder than I had in a long time.
You looked as if you had simply fallen asleep, not like you were gone.
Until we were ready to take you away, we laid you in your little bed.
I covered you with a blanket, as if that would keep your body from getting cold.
I waited for you to wake, to stand and come to me, comfort me and kiss away my tears.
That moment would never come.

When we took you away, I knew that you would come home in a wooden box.
Knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
I cried again when I got you back in my arms.
It was still so, so hard to accept that you were really gone.
I looked for you in the shadows, listened for your little voice.
Sometimes, it felt as if you were with me, and that was bittersweet.
You were there in spirit, but I couldn’t hold you in my arms or feel your soft fur.
The bed felt so empty the first few nights, and I could’ve sworn I heard you at the door.
Occasionally, I would see glimpses of black and white I thought was you.
I know you were there, but it was hard to not be able to hold you close.
You’re safe and healthy now, but in my selfish way, I want you back by my side.

Sometimes, I wonder if you miss me.
I know you still are with me, but it will never be the same.
The kitten I got to fill your place will never be you.
She acts like you sometimes, and that can be hard to accept.
I know I need to move on, but you’ll always have a place in my heart.
One day, we will meet again.
Of this, I am sure.
You’ll run into my arms, and I’ll embrace you like I did back then.?We will journey into the light together, me and you.
That will be long from now, but I look forward to that day.
Until then, I will miss you, but I will journey on as you would want me to.

I love you, my Gabby girl.
Play with the angels and be happy and safe.
Until we meet again, my sweet kitty.