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I Am Not Expendable
Steve says happiness is a part of life? at least as much as sadness is-?
hopefully-?
he hasn’t quite figured that part out yet ?
‘you have to try to work with the essence of moments,
?just something to capture’ ?
he says he’s been subscribed to being an absurdist like ?incongruity is the basis of himself as a whole ?
‘I like to believe that I can see both sides to things
and still care ?that I can laugh while I cry ?
and have that be all right’
I want to know Steve until I die he is a galvanized guard rail ?
not really getting damaged in sleet and hail anymore-?
the damage is hardly noticeable he weathers storms like he knows when they’re ending ?and that is a quality I will always be envious of he says he has learned ?
emotion usually isn’t just one feeling its usually all kinds of them? they’re all important like ?
key parts of staying insane in a world that wants you to make sense? ‘do you know what I mean?’ ?
essentially you should take all the things that make your hands shake ?
and push them into secondary concerns like things you can say you’ll eventually get around to ?while your feet are on an ottoman and your hands behind your head ?
you have to figure out how to enjoy awful situations ?
mostly through highly developed senses of irony and I guess ? just having fun?
while knowing you’re entirely lost
and until I met Steve I associated smoking cigarettes with people ? that just didn’t care about themselves ?
always flashing back to my mom telling seven year old me to hold my breath when leaving the grocery store and passing the smokers on break ?
now I see it as some type of bravery like saying ?
everything else in society is changing so much ?
why the hell can’t smoke start belonging in lungs
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