You always told me-
Daddy always told me winners never cheat
and cheater never win
He told me that honesty is the best policy
and if you’re going to do something half way,
why do it?
He read me every line in the book
recited every moral and life lesson with pride
as if he thought saying these things
made him a good father
as if he thought insincerity and rehearsed values
would instill some respect for him in me
He read me the riot act about parties,
“if you call me I won’t be mad”
but the first time I drowned in a bottle
I was grounded for a month
I didn't want to get drunk,
I just wanted to forget
He kept calling me his little girl
and telling me he didn't understand
he had said “do as I say, not as I do” so many times
that he justified drowning his sorrows in poison
and never thinking for a second,
that when I was shattering at the wrists,
I’d look for something to numb the pain

just like he did