Stars may twinkle outside,

but cannot be seen through the blinds

the moon may shine

but I may never know

as I lay in bed

trying to sleep like a good girl

I can't help but think of too much

I think of my day

surfing the internet

laughing at the little things

but what does that amount to?

I think of the breakfast I had

after being scolded for sleeping in

still so near school 

and the time I pushed my little sister away

leading her to tears

unsure of my actions

but couldn't stop,

or could I?

At those times, I think too much

my mind is too active

sleep refuses to come

sending me into spirals of confusion and eventual despair

I had not accomplished anything.

There would be 80 or so years before I died.

I may only be 16,

but in the future I would mourn for youth as I see the middle aged around me complain now

with their wrinkled faces with skin stretched after years of life.

My day was a waste

simply stumbling around

doing whatever was available

never getting any real work done

knowing all traces of me would be gone; forgotten

in a few simple centuries,

probably even less.

Then I think of life,

full of regrets already

wishing to apologize for something years ago

but never did.

I remember the people 

leaving who promised to stay in touch

but eventually faded away.

I think of my life now, how long it would last

how completely different it would be in just a few years

and the friends I have now leaving so soon

after graduation, them moving on in life.

I think of how different I would be.

I shut my eyes,

trying to calm my overactive brain

wishing for sleep to come,

all the while despair wrapping around me

as unwilling, hot tears slid from my eyes.

Wishing for sleep to come, to forget the night ordeal in the morning.

Knowing it would haunt me.

Wondering, when would it stop.

If it would ever stop.

As the period ends yet another thought.