Dear Frenemy,
That first day of grade one when we became friends
You came to me with a deceitful smile full of pity
How was I to know that you would become ill; not of sickness but of ignorance and self concern
Not a problem until you abandon your roots and leave the solid ground
Relying on others to pull you up; grasping at anyone who was more popular to boost yourself higher
Okay with a “C” and boastful with a “B”
I stood on the sidelines looking for what I used to see; fearing she might be far too gone

Second semester of grade two you cried while I chose to give you space
Perhaps it is my fault you came out like this
You reluctantly trailed away
Not far enough to be separated, but far enough go be considered two instead of one
I tried to slow down the gap
But we were becoming distant
With the time apart becoming longer; we split

Of the three classes in third grade you one while I got another
We tried at both ends to fix the torn down bridge
You tried to show me your friends while I showed mine
Alas we were on opposite sides of a vast canyon
At the bottom was a river of memories; everyday I regret not taking the plunge
For the girl across from me was one I didn't know

For the next three year we didn’t see to each other
I always thought you were too high up on the food chain to even approach, much less talk to
Even silent you were my friend
Texting became my only form of communication with you
That is until you got your phone taken away
Many don’t know but I do
The reason was texts about sex in grade five
Do I really know this girl?
I asked myself any and every time we passed in the halls
Now I know… I don’t

The fifth week of grade seven when you came to me in person
My heart skipped a beat in shock
You talked as if we hadn’t seen each other for four minutes instead of years
I dare hoped that the rift was lifted
That I could cross the bridge into your warm arms
Then I learned your reason
You came here not of your own intents but those of your mother
Spreading the news of a new arrival
As quickly as my shock you leave me
Standing here with a fake smile
We used to say we were BFF’s
But the best has faded along with the forever

I fear that you care but not enough
If we were to walk into a store with your friends would you abandon me again
Leave me to fend for myself
To grope in the darkness till I find the light switch
Even your mother doesn’t call you
Instead she tells me when it’s time to go
If she doesn’t trust you why should I
Why should I test the branches that have already broken under me

Our parents don't understand what has happened
Continuously they force us to get together
Those days are nothing but awkwardness
Heads tilted down towards the lit screens
I have so much to say but I can't; I know I can't
My brain won't wrap around the fact that you're gone
My heart wants what it knows it can't have
My soul stays in the past while my body moves through the present
A victim of regretted time
People say that you should follow your dreams
But my dreams are hidden in the folds of the past
Where I can never find them

Everyday I go the long way to avoid you
That is what’s left of you
Now it’s made up of three parts bad and one part horrible
I always feared who you’ve become
Once sweet now vicious monster who enjoys other’s suffering
Once I had hope but I’m not making that mistake any more
Say goodbye to the girl I used to know if she’s still in there
Love, a girl who used to try to find the real you but I guess she was only a memory
P.S. farewell to she who will not be missed