She resembles the moon
Always portraying an ebullient face
But as time proceeds
One is intrigued
By the beautiful disaster lurking on the other side

She reveals no weakness
Taking away what makes one human
"I never cry",
She reminds consistently
Initially, adding emphasis each time spoken

I remember why I never cry
I remember why the petrified little girl,
Which pathetically had to be me,
Drowned in the tears that never surfaced
Because of a mother who poisoned my mind

My mom chose abuse as discipline
Forcing feelings to be bottled up inside
Because if expressed it would be selfish
As a result, the bottles would cause a cacophony,
Breaking when they couldn't hold anymore

Without a mom figure,
She is strong, confident
Someone would be lucky
To be merely half the person she is
She has no desperation

Yet, she hides behind a perfect lie
As if life were almost flawless
A reflex of not knowing,
Not knowing who is worth her trust
The past swallows her

I feel as though the world is caving in
And if I were to fall no one would care
I feel?
I don't feel.   
I can't feel.

I can't begin to comprehend
Why for one second I believed my mother,
The cause for undesirable pain,
Filling my head with
Unwanted visitors

She stands for hope
Never soaking in self pity
Always moving forward
Weaving into dusk
And out of dawn

She is glass behind steel
Fragile yet unbreakable,
Made from the sands of time
In which binds her to
Herself

I keep getting overwhelmed
The pain keeps returning
Sudden urges of hate
I hate her
And the dreadful tragedy of my life

I relive the past everyday
Before twilight,
Growing strength
And replacing what I thought was weakness
To form the new me

She finally gradually opened up to me
Showing a new perspective,
A perspective of possibilities
Followed by sympathy
And a sickness of compassion

I walk a lonely road
My head full of callous remarks
From a mother, whom I am free from
Her conceded mind
And the worst part is
I was only seven.