Sorry Sister | Teen Ink

Sorry Sister

August 5, 2015
By Crysalia PLATINUM, Riverside, California
Crysalia PLATINUM, Riverside, California
37 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Sorry that I'm not like your friends

Sorry that the love that comes genuinely from me isn't enough

 

I'm a fool for ever thinking you could see me as anything

Sorry that I put so much effort into you 

Sorry that no matter how hard I try I still am nothing

 

I'm such a f***ing idiot for thinking you could actually care

Every time I think you love me it becomes shattered

 

You don't love me

I'm just an accessory 

You don't love me

You just use me for the happiness I give you

You use me for how much I fill your ego

 

I don't know why I even tried

When I knew we would never be on the same level

I knew we never would get along ever

And day by day you show it to me

 

I give you so much of my love, attention, and time

And you brush me off

 

Why?

 

It's because I'm not your family,

I'm not like your friends

 

Sorry that I choose not to use you like you're used to

Sorry that I am not stupid and infectious 

Sorry that my genuine love isn't enough

Or my gifts I give you

All my love and money spent on you means nothing

Sorry I don't want to hurt people

 

I don't want to change into a maggot

I don't want to be like your friends

I don't want to be brainwashed and dead

I don't want to be bullied by so called "friends"

 

I won't ever call you a sister or friend

If I do it won't be genuine

 

Dear god how I have cried over the wounds you've given me

I have tried more than anyone in your life

Even your own family

Just to be loved by you,

But you don't give a damn

 

Everything I offer you is useless 

All my love is meaningless

All my effort is valueless

 

I am nothing to you

I never will be anything to you

You only spill lies of love for the ones you love

Just to protect them

 

You honestly couldn't care less about me

I know I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not a saint

But dear god have I tried to be there for you

How much hits I have taken for you

Just to be loved by you

And for it to be authentic

I know I haven't had the prettiest words come out of my mouth

But my actions have beauty beyond that

 

You don't love me

It's all a lie

Every single time I try you crush me or move me aside

I have killed bits of me just to be told,

"Sister, I love you"

And I don't get one or the other

I get pushed down and kicked

I get to become a disaster

 

So sorry

Sorry I wasted so much on you

Sorry I'm nothing for you

Sorry you loved to be used

Sorry I ever even tried

Sorry that you don't see all that I do for you

Sorry.


The author's comments:

All anyone could want is to be loved. Especially by someone they try to love so much it is dangerous. 


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This article has 2 comments.


on Aug. 11 2015 at 2:44 am
Crysalia PLATINUM, Riverside, California
37 articles 0 photos 5 comments
@kjspink3 oh it's alright. I'm used to it; it just becomes too much sometimes. She is very loving, and similar to you in some ways to me, but it is just that she chooses to not give me the love she has to offer. She doesn't see around her that there are people who want to love her like others, even if its not in romantic ways. I know I have been blind sided to things like this myself. So, just remember to look around you and give a arm out to people who love you or want form a relationship to you. Or like I guess I am trying to say is pay attention to those around you, and anyone who is trying to be a sister, or friend, or like family to you you should give them the time of day! Just you one on one! I have felt that would be better for the both of us if she had given me the time of day becuase I try desperately to be called sister and loved like one although we have no blood relation because she is the sister to someone dear to me. I think the people who want to be your family and called family love you so much, so be aware of them, and the fact you might be hurting them by not showing interest to bond.

kjspink3 GOLD said...
on Aug. 10 2015 at 8:40 pm
kjspink3 GOLD, Idyllwild,
17 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see" - Mark Twain

You shouldn't be sorry for being stepped on. I have felt that before from a so called "friend" and no one deserves it, especially you. I hope you don't have to take it any longer