Sometimes I just want to laugh
I want to laugh until I can’t hold myself up any longer
Until my belly aches and
my cheeks are flushed but sore.
I want to laugh until tears of joy splash
onto the world below me,
and nothing can reach me now,
in this moment, in this now, in this bubble
of insanity.

Sometimes I just want to scream
I want to yell, and holler
and let everything loose
I want to bang on my chest and
scream nonsense at the world,
to fill my lungs with fresh air
and just breathe.

Sometimes I just want to fly
no, I want to soar.
I want to leap into the wind and
soar through the clouds
I want to twirl and glide,
I want to feel the cool wind on my fingers, my toes
and my tears,
as they blow away from my face.

Sometimes I just want to run,
run, run away from this madness
I want to escape from the bars around me, to be free
I want to end up somewhere
or,
nowhere, just anywhere away from thiswhere.

Sometimes I just want to cry
I want to shake, sob, and cry
To rub at the tears around my red eyes,
and to bang on the walls around me
to hiccup and gasp for air,
crying out to no one.
I want to clutch at my chest and just feel,
feel all the pain
while wondering, why?

Sometimes, I just need to stop.
I need to curl up, and huddle up
and think about what my game plan will be.
To hug my knees tight into a ball and just rock,
back and forth, and back and forth, and block out the pain
I need to think about all the “potential” objects around me,
wonder about possible solutions, possible
endings.
I need to crumble, I need to collapse,
my arms and legs weak
from the weight of it all
and lay myself down, alone
and finally in peace.