Seventeen years

It's been seventeen long years since that life-changing decision

The scariest and most impulsive decision I ever made

With such ease, it's frightening

And ever since then 

It's been

The most life-threatening, ego-killing

Mind-numbing, spirit-lifting

Brain-rotting seventeen years of my life

Life

As if you can even call it that

I'm ruined

125 pounds

I've withered away into a dark abyss of absolute nothingness

I claimed I was a new person

I was going to rise back again

Newspapers clutched in my hand

That was the plan

But you can't trust anyone these days

The media

They filled me with hope and now I'm back

I'm back at the bottom of the bottle again

Where can I go? There's no one here anymore 

They're all looking for Hollywood

No one wants to help the old man make a big comeback

It's like I'm in a box

Help! Help me!

And even if I gain popularity again, I've lost my dignity

No one can hear 

Especially when they're much too busy

Listening to the ones in the spotlight

And as I sink further into my own shadow

My only friends being these empty bottles galore

My heart takes a major leap

I feel alive!

What blind, stupid irony

I quickly realize with fright, with utter regret

You're gone 

You're afraid to even look at yourself in the mirror!

Don't you see?

You're gone for, Lugosi.

They carry me away

I try to look at the feet below

To see who really cared

But I can't seem to crane my neck, let alone move

Paralyzed, trapped, hidden away

In a red velvet coffin

What happened? What did I do to myself?

Why can't they hear my cries for help?

They're letting go much too easily

Fear me!

I am Dracula, the count

No one shall pass by me with no harm done

But maybe I'm not

Maybe I'm just a guy in a homemade cape

Playing roles that were never meant for me 

As they lay me down

Ready to forget about yet another celebrity burnout

I feel my dark cape wrap around me 

Enveloping, dragging me into the darkness

The hinges creak as they prepare to leave

Final tears falling atop me as they grieve

It's no help to me

But at least the flowers in here will grow

While I, once again, become one of the undead