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It's Not The Same
I can't look at the world beautifully anymore
You've gone and stolen my light
Every color I see becomes sad to me
You've stripped me of my joy
I can no longer look at your favorite animal anymore
Everywhere I look I see elephants,
And it haunts my soul
Everytime I see an elephant
My heart grows heavy and sad
Almost like it wants to kill itself
And I only want to lay down and cry
I can no longer see a smile
And not think of yours
How bright and neat your smile was
How warm it made me feel to see you smile
But now I only grow sad
And my heart grows heavier
You made me see ignorant beauty in everything
Now, everthing just hurts me
It all burns my heart
Curses my soul
And strains my eyes as it all grows dark
I cannot see colors as happy
They all remind me of the flower prints you used to wear
But what color makes me the saddest to see is pink
Your favorite color because
"pink makes every flower pretty"
Your favorite color because
"pink makes me feel like I am beautiful"
Every color brings happiness
But that all fades once I see them
Because all I feel is you in all of them
Every color I see grows dimmer
Especially my favorite color because
"That is a depressing color to me"
Or,
"Don't show me that color it will make me sad"
Nothing is no longer the same because of you
You single handedly ruined me unintentionally
You ripped my heart out without even trying
You spit on me like he spit on you
Yet you claim, "It's not the same"
Like hell it isn't
You squirmed yourself into every piece of my mentality
I see you in everything
And damn you for liking such popular things
Becuase I see them everwhere
I see elephants in the news
In every social media I own
And I see pink in all the flowers surrounding me
And you know what sucks?
When I see them together
It strikes at my heart not once, but twice
You left me a mess like he did to you
That's how you moved on
You dumped all your hurt onto someone else
You are like a selfish child
You live your life so fast now
You act so wildly
You take advantage of how lucky your life really is
You only do that now
Simply because you dumped your hurt on to me
You melded it into my skin
You made sure that I wouldn't give it back
So here I am
Looking at the world
I've given up on you
And now when I look at everything
Colors, flowers, elephants, whatever
I find myself mumbling to myself
"It's not the same".
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I have been very depressed and lonely.
I've given up on a lot of things because of this.
I have become lonely and sad because I have been reflecting on myself, and some of the actions I have done. Some things I have her to blame for, and some I have myself to blame for.