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laughter
laughter always followed me everywhere
it had its own limbs to stand on
and i believe they were my own
ripped apart from me and stolen
because i stumbled more than most
and so maybe i had only the illusion of legs
they always did say it was all in my head
besides the laughter following me could be no less real
than that extra gravity i possessed
that which pressed itself against me
suffocating me to the brink of death
the laughter laughing goodbye
the laughter laughing alright
it’ll be okay
“ it’s just a joke ”
[ but what was so funny that i could never understand
why was i never in on it
why was everyone always together
why was i always alone
everyone laughing
and only laughing
somehow never crying
or violently, tortured-ly screaming
while i watched the ceiling
stay in place and sit still
so i could learn to copy it
and live politely silent ]
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