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Puzzled
I am that puzzle piece on the table
The one you think you know
Exactly the place in which
You think I ought to go
But try and try you do,
Until to no avail,
You throw your hands up in despair and tell the scattered pieces
That they're the ones who failed
You think you've tried everything,
Every last place I could go,
You're frustrated and you're angry,
How could this be so?
Pick me up in your fingers,
Under the light so low,
Jam and shove and force me into
A spot and name yourself a hero.
But there's no way that I go there,
And behind your back the surrounding pieces
Begin to protest the spare
And ever-so-uncarefully push me out,
Rejection at its finest.
I become again alone on the table.
To rest there is the surest,
Better to be left alone
Than under the dictator of normalcy,
Judgment because I don't fit the mold,
Of what is thought I should be.
There are differences between you and me,
And on that we could agree.
But let me show you
They're okay,
I in no way need be changed.
To fit a world that to me is strange.
You would think it strange too,
To spend a day in this world through
People try and intervene,
But always have and will fail
So please for once just let me be,
The person inside who will prevail,
The person that I am meant to be,
This person can and will succeed.
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This poem arose out of a night working on a difficult jigsaw puzzle with my boyfriend, in combination with beginning more extensive research on Nonverbal Learning Disability, which I was born with, upon my acceptance of having this disorder. When I wrote it, the puzzle pieces to me represented the autism spectrum, for which NLD was considered for more than once, while the puzzle itself refers to the inherent human need to belong. The dim lighting in the room with the puzzle was a reference to the fact that not many people know about NLD, and people are generally ignorant in the way they treat people with disabilities. I hope that with this understanding, people will treat people with disabilities(especially hidden ones like NLD) with respect, more like people, and less like children or second-class citizens(whether intentional or out of ignorance). I also hope to raise awareness about NLD in itself.