Eternal Winter | Teen Ink

Eternal Winter

March 12, 2016
By Sarah_Beasley BRONZE, Concord, North Carolina
Sarah_Beasley BRONZE, Concord, North Carolina
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

As the fragile and lonely girl cried
She stared out the frost covered window,
observing the children who danced on the snow-kissed ground,
laughing while building snowman and spending time with their families
The window reflected back at her
and she saw her tear stained face,
covered in smeared mascara and new forming bruises

She tried to tone out the sound of her drunk father banging on the door,
screaming for her to let him in while throwing another empty beer bottle against the wooden ground, CLASH
This sound caused her to wince and sob even harder as she slowly fell to the ground

The banging seemed to become even more faint as she saw a plastic bottle, sitting on the bathroom counter
She felt as if she had no more control of her own thoughts as her legs lead her to the bathroom
She bent down slightly and picked up the plastic object, twisting the lid

A sudden feeling of doubt and hesitation cross her mind as she poured the pills into her hand
She realized that this maybe wasn’t the solution for everything?
She began to think and the memories of all her childhood would flash through her mind
She gently put the pills back into the plastic bottle,
and walked back to her bed
“I am just stuck in an eternal winter, with the ice in my heart.”


The author's comments:

This poem portrays a girl that is dealing with many things, physically and emotionally. She has an abusive parent that would spend days on end getting drunk, and the demon within her mind.
I believe that everyone, at some point, will come to a time of self-doubt and hatred. You will hate what you see when you look in the mirror, you will hate how you are so sensitive that the slightest thing will affect you the most. This happens so much that you fall into a deep depression where all you think about when you look at yourself is how ugly, useless and lonely you are. You feel as though you have no purpose in life and nobody cares about you.
I believe that no matter how rough life gets, you are always stronger and can make it through it. So what if that person you put all your love in trust into broke your heart? So what if your best friend left you for someone else? If they weren't smart enough to see how amazing you are then they are not worth your time. It will hurt but you will make it through it eventually.
In this scenario, this girl feels as though she has nothing to lose, that her life is so messed up that she should just end her life to make all the pain and suffering come to a rest. When she comes so close to ending it all, she has this sudden feeling of worry and hesitation. Is ending my chance at life really necessary? After a few moments of thought, she places the bottle back.
Even though life is outrageously hard at times, it is always worth living. It will always get better. It may take weeks, months, or even years but one day everything will work out. Never give up.
“Stay alive. It’s worth it, I promise.” -T.J


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