Always calm and collected,
Enjoying the serene around me
Never am I rushed
Or unsure or doubting.
Life went steady like a river.
And I flowed with it.
But a river has rapids.
He came
He was outspoken,
No restraint,
No control,
But he had so much power.
He bent my river.
I didn’t understand this change: it was different, I finally got a grasp on the fear of doubt, the terror of not knowing and feeling vulnerable, as if someone could easily slit my throat and let my body fall to the ground like a ragdoll.
And as he spoke to me, I became unsure.
Unsure of not just myself, but of him, I could not read his reasoning. Why? Why? Why was he here?
Wrestling to regain control of the course this river had taken
And just as I was about to secure it.
He asked.
He asked a question.
He asked me a question that squeezed my heart and fluttered my stomach.
A question that slowly poisoned my mind till I could not even think so I had to sleep on it.
What should I do?
Then the light poured through the murky darkness and my answer was finalized.
He was waiting for an answer that following morning.
I had been scared,
But I felt confidence again,
Confidence that would never fall again.
Because I said,
“Yes”.