I want to talk about my brother,
a scrawny teenager.
I want to talk about the pain,
that he,
at the mere age of 17,
went through

I want to discuss what life consisted of before it was all that.
I want to talk about addiction.
How my brother spent days skipping school,
because sometimes the struggles that we face,
travel farther than sticks and stones.

I want to talk about my sibling.
How he hypocritically told me I could do my best
About how behind it all, his father, left medicated
claimed that he would never make it
About how even through his ripped skinny jeans, size 28, he believed in himself.
About how my brother, my role model
kept pushing through when the teachers kept dragging him down
Maybe he didn't turn in his homework
Maybe he felt like slinging drugs.
But maybe he was trying to tape up
the broken family
that tore apart
when he was
trying to learn what humanity was.

I want to tell you about about courageous changes.
I want to talk about the pain and torment a soldier goes through even before he leaves U.S. soil.
I want it to be known that the hell they put you through in basic training
sometimes
takes away the light in your eyes.
About how the muddy tears, drenched in pain,
Sometimes send people into insanity.

I want to talk about the letters.
How the tear stained parchment he shipped to us showed signs of depression.
I want to talk about the day he came home.
Recovering from a respiratory infection
that lasted the 13-weeks that he spent,
learning to become a marine.

I want to talk about love.
Unconditional love from a sister.
Unconditional love from a mother
a brother
a wife.

I want to talk about connections,
built with his new wife
in this new life.
And how she helped him build back up from the slur
They claimed was a compound depression and anxiety.

I want to talk about the man,
the soldier,
the husband.
The brother that taught me about,
never giving up
even when the world keeps slamming us
into pain and loss and hopelessness.
I want to talk about the man my brother grew to be
who inspired me to work my best
even when I felt like I couldn't.
I want to talk about my best friend.