I never knew three words could hold so much mystery
As if they were tucked away behind a cloud of uncertainty
The answer is intangible,
as it festers around in my unconscious
taunting me

I know what I like…
The warm embrace of the sun, the taste of sushi on the tip of my tongue, sitting around a fire making smores with my best friends, swiping a credit card through the machine as I buy my new favorite shirt, the cozy welcoming atmosphere of my bed on a cold day, laughing with family as we reflect on childhood memories, the lurking smell of cookies on Christmas Eve and the dopamine rush as I pull into Polar Cub on a warm summer day

And I know what I don't…
The bitter taste of too much lime in my water, being stuck on a biochem lab question for what feels like forever, the heart wrenching feeling that comes with every goodbye, the smell of fresh paint on a humid day, my untamed hair when I wake up in the morning, the freshman who have not been here long enough to know how to walk at a respectable pace, the cafeteria food making my stomach churn and waiting in line on Black Friday.

But what does this all mean?

I stare at a blank page, consumed by a three worded question
Four years of finding myself
Four years of still not knowing

But it’s okay
  maybe identity remains a cliffhanger
  maybe we can truly never answer the question

All I know is my name
Kayla Alexis

     and here I am trying to figure it all out