I went through a trauma
So I chopped off all my hair
I went to the salon to tell them
To cut right there.
I watched as the blond locks fell to the floor,
One
By
One,
Scattering and weaving
Into each other
As the reminders left me
Forever free.
Now every day onward, I’ve had to wear a hat
Because a single hair still haunts me
Uncut
I see it in the mirror every day
Reminding me
Of my trauma.
I went back to the salon
And asked them to cut that one hair
After several looks, funny and long,
They obliged
And I watched the silver scissors
Take off not only that one hair but an entire lock
(They didn’t charge me for it.)
Next day, I was back in again,
Begging them to cut off another hair
That I was sure had gone uncut.
They obliged.
I found another one, though, right in the center of my bangs,
Hair follicles that had experienced the trauma with me.
This time, the salon offered to shave my head.
Thinking it the only way,
I agreed,
And watched as the razor severed all the hair
Old and new,
From my scalp,
And I watched as it fell to the floor,
Lost
Like me.
But the next time I looked in the mirror, I still could not stand to see it.
My head may have been bald,
But I knew that there was skin there that had experienced my trauma.
So I wore a hat.
But the rest of my skin
Was still
Uncovered
Exposed
To the world.
I put on a scarf
Shirt
Sleeves
Gloves
Pants
Socks
Boots.
Then I needed something for my face
So I went to the store and came back with plastic bags
Arrayed my purchases on the counter
And went to work.
Enough foundation to smother any patch of exposed skin.
Powder
Highlights
Gloss
Rouge
Blush
More foundation.
Eyeliner
Eyeshadow
Mascara (top and bottom)
And more foundation.
Lipliner
Gloss
Lipstick.
But my ears are still exposed.
I pull my hat down farther to hid the trauma.
And I step outside
Before I grimace
And remember
That everything inside of me has also experienced the trauma.
Blood
Lungs
Stomach
Muscles
Brain
Heart.
I run back inside.
I am not finished yet.