I was the second of five,
Surprises,
And learned that brothers,
Shove the hardest.
I’ve held onto,
My childhood,
For far too long.

I’ve heard the voices,
Clawing their way in my mind,
Portrayed as a harsh whisper,
Anything but silent.
Throwing deadly daggers,
At my every wrong move.
One little slip up,
Just slightly showing how crazy I can be,
Causes them to frenzy,
Chucking insults at me.

I lost a lot of the people,
I care about in life.
Whether they got up and left me behind,
Succumbed to death,
Or slowly lost their mind.
I sincerely hate alzheimer's.

I hold on for too long,
During hugs,
Wanting to memorize the feeling,
Of love.
Of the the warm tenderness behind each one.
Above all,
The smiles they flash my way,
The happiness that shines through,
The knowledge that I made their day.

My friends understand,
Most of time time,
How I can’t help,
Being me.
Weird,
Free Spirited,
And someone who eats way too much,
Pickles and peanut butter,
In her pastime.

I’ve had the best,
Mom growing up.
Showing me the way,
Telling me it’s okay to step up,
Be weird and different.

I tell you,
Honestly,
Sometimes I wish I was mute,
Or deaf,
And had a reason to shut the world out.

I’ve watched my mom get worn out,
Yes,
I saw such a feat.
I can’t tell you how many times,
I wish I’d help out,
But end up forgetting,
Over and over again,
Each time feeling more and more guilty,
About not doing my share of cleaning,
And babysitting.

I once slammed the car door,
And my brother’s head got in the way,
I didn’t mean it,
But can’t deny if it was on purpose or not,
As I can’t remember it that much.

I once hugged someone in florida,
A guy,
Who wasn’t in my family,
My aunts best friend's nephew,
Scandalous,
I know.

And more than once,
Had a mental break down,
Thanks to my siblings,
On the way to downtown disney in the van,
That episode was convenient enough.

But I’m still a good girl,
No matter what happens,
I know,
I wouldn’t be able to break the tendencies,
That good girls tend to grow.
I can’t stand getting in trouble,
Not even for unfinished homework,
Or blowing bubbles in the house,
Or playing with my turkey dinner.

I don’t always fit in,
The strong voice at the back of my head,
Can’t stop pointing that fact out,
Every time I’m even slightly different,
And despite what my mother has taught,
It does indeed bother me.

I may be smart,
According to what others said,
But I’ve still a lot to learn,
So I wish people would stop complementing me on it,
Before it gets to my head.

My favorite superhero is Robin Hood,
Something about a not so ordinary guy,
Giving justice to those deserving,
While some of the world wishes,
He’d go bye,
Makes me feel all warm inside.

My favorite animal is the Elephant,
They’re said to be some of the wisest,
Not to mention family oriented,
And have a lasting memory,
It’s who I wish to be,
Instead of misrepresented.

Music fuels my soul,
It intensifies my emotion,
Pin pointing my feelings according to the song,
Leaving me tingly,
Longing to hear more.

I like to create stories,
For those walking while staring at their feet,
Those sitting in at starbucks who raise their noises up at the coffee smell,
For everyone.
For century old houses,
The fountain down the street that spouts brown water,
For everything.

My mind tends to wander,
Going from red and blue,
To Fire and soot,
To Rainbows and how put off werewolf books make me feel,
In less than twenty seconds,
It’s like I can’t keep a single thought from flashing past.
Why?
The world may never know.
Great now I’m think ‘bout tootsie pops.

I believe in god,
I have belief he created this earth and every one of you,
But not the society we live in today,
As 1 John 4:8 says,
‘God is love,’
Now how can a loving god lead to such destruction,
How can love create hate,
When hate is the antonym of love.

I can be very deep,
And not know how to express that at times
But…
At the same time,
I’m a pretty simply person.

I collect rocks,
They stay under my bed in a box.
I collect facts,
They’re stored in my head,
Coming out in random intervals,
I wish I was normal instead.

My brother claims I’m clingy,
Can you explain to me how that could be?
I might get a little too close,
And stick around,
But that’s either because,
I’ve only seen him once in about a day or two,
Or because we’re in a crowd.

I get claustrophobic sometimes.
When I was younger,
I couldn’t even go under the bed,
Without freaking out.
Even when I took my savior,
The stuffed bear named Ted.

So that’s some of me explained,
I hope you can relate,
Now that,
I’ve given you a peak of the pages,
My book states,
About me.