I was in fourth grade
When I noticed the ash trays,
The shifty behavior,
But I was oblivious.
Thirteen,
I should've known.
You said you found God,
But you really found an excuse.
An excuse
To put your mind at ease,
But you forget how I still hadn’t forgiven
Still hadn’t forgotten
The thirteen years
Without you.
No phone calls,
No happy birthdays,
No father.
Everything that was supposed to be ours
Was thrown away
when you were put behind bars.
This man
He sits right beside me now,
But he’s not home somehow.
The drug
Took over his body,
   Ate his soul,
    Made his heart so ugly.
Most days I want to scream
    At the top of my lungs
Because I don’t recognize this man.
I want to cry,
  To beg,
   To know why!
Why,
How foolish I was
To think my love would be enough
For this man you had became
  I did not welcome.
As you hold that spoon to the flame,
You have no one else blame
Because I can’t watch another day
   Of you throwing your life away.
I never asked you to leave me alone,
But from now on I won’t pick up the phone.
I say farewell to this man you had became
I guess you can tattoo Crystal Meth over my name.