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Lightning - Impulse

March 6, 2017
By LeisurelySketches GOLD, Tricity, Other
More by this author
LeisurelySketches GOLD, Tricity, Other
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your life has a limit but knowledge has none. (Zhuangzi)

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An ethereal note

Bursts forth

Like the Big Bang

In the vacuum of ennui,

 

Flooding a parched imagination.

From a dormant mind germinates ectasy;

A thrush opens its beak

And out pours a zither song.

 

Lightning-fingers strum the clouds;

Thundering inspiration ignites the spirit,

Raging rivers sculpt barren land

Into a masterpiece in the making.

© Alice B., Sarasota, FL

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

LeisurelySketches GOLD said...
on Apr. 12 2017 at 11:52 pm
LeisurelySketches GOLD, Tricity, Other
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your life has a limit but knowledge has none. (Zhuangzi)

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Thanks a ton for the encouragement and suggestions!
hwoodruff98 said...
on Apr. 12 2017 at 9:21 pm
hwoodruff98, Lititz, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In a gentle way, you can shake the world." -Mahatma Gandhi<br /> <br /> "What will your verse be?" -Dead Poets Society <br /> <br /> "Write drunk, edit sober." -Ernest Hemingway

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Oops taken*
hwoodruff98 said...
on Apr. 12 2017 at 9:21 pm
hwoodruff98, Lititz, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In a gentle way, you can shake the world." -Mahatma Gandhi<br /> <br /> "What will your verse be?" -Dead Poets Society <br /> <br /> "Write drunk, edit sober." -Ernest Hemingway

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Your words are very rich, and I think the poem is nicely written and flows well. I love how you have taking something like lightning and made it beautiful rather than threatening. I love the tribute to nature and creativity. I would suggest the following edits: In the first stanza: I would say "in a vacuum" instead of "in the vacuum." In the second stanza, the line "From dormant seeds germinates ecstasy" is nice, but I don't think it fits well in this stanza or poem. It doesn't make much sense in the context, and "ecstasy" is a strange word to use as well. This is a well-written poem! Keep writing!