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I Tried To Be Okay
I tried to be okay
But nothing will ever be the same
I tried to save myself
But all I'm left with is pain
I tried to talk about my problems
But my tongue turned to lead
I tried to let my feelings out
But they're eating me instead
I tried to escape my thoughts
I thought I had the key
Imprisoned in my mind
When will I be free?
I try and try and try
I fail 10 out of 10
When will I be free
To finally live again?
I try to find myself
Who am I supposed to be?
These questions weigh me down
When will I be free?
I ask why this is happening
Of all people, why me?
It's not fair, I don't get it
So much I could've turned out to be
I ask when this'll be over
I just want the pain to end
Not sure if I've broke yet
But I'm sure as hell bent
I ask whoever's out there
To break me with sticks and stones
Instead of having these words bombard me
Hurting and burning and stinging my soul
I ask what I ahve to do
To finally feel again
To stop being so cold
And let the light in
I look in the mirror
I don't recognize what I see
She looks like a stranger
I can't believe she's me
Dead eyes
Pale skin
Scarred body
Bones thin
Lonely and fragile
Doesn't let anyone in
Hides from the world
Scared of affection
Puts on a mask
When anyone's around
They can never know
She's not safe and sound
Build up 8 thousand walls
8 thousand problems no one can solve
8 thousand secrets she tries to hide
8 thousand nights stayed up and cried
Lonely and broken
But nobody knows
A life of pain:
It's hers, she chose
Torn apart
By her own hand
Why?
That's the question she doesn't understand
Feels liek a monster
But she can't explain it
These thoughts in my head
But I don't know how to face it
I've lost all hope
Of being human
Even in my family
I still don't fit in
Wandering through this hell
A hell we call "life"
My head's too f***ed up
I can't tell wrong from right
I tried to fix myself
But I'm gone beyond repair
I tried to let people in
But nobody cares
I tried to be okay
I'll never be okay
I cried out to anybody
Somebody save me

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In this piece I tried to deal with one of my struggles, which is wanting to feel okay and happy and normal, but things keep happening that set me back time and time again. Feeling like I'm trying so hard but getting nowhere. Feeling like I have to fight like hell to get what comes so naturally to most. I hope you enjoy.