1. Her name, her face, the smell of her hoodies, curly hair, and her soft hands rubbing my thumb.

2. Being pushed up against that red shed as he scraped me open with his fingers and declared my fruit sour.

3. The hurt. Hurt in my throat, tears, body, and mind.

4. Longing. Wanting her to call me just so I could say she did. Just so I could hang up the phone.

5. How it feels to feel. How to feel everything so damn deeply it cuts my chest.

6. How It looks like red and pink fireworks. The image is burned in my head and hips.

7. Words. I can still quote everything you said.

8. Crying. The way my nose tingled and my chest heaved. It still happens some nights.

9. That she exists and will always be better.

10. Hunger. Wait another hour. I don't need those calories, those extra pounds. 155.