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Pinocchio
When I was a child I was controlled
Being pulled around like a marionette
Come here,
Eat that,
Play this game,
It soothed me
I was told when to crawl into my star wars themed bed and lay to rest for the night
I was told what my grades should be, and how to get them to what was expected
I was controlled like a puppet, and at the time that was okay.
It was easy.
Simple.
Relaxing.
The strings protruding from my back guided me
A constant sign that you were there looking over me.
As I grew older I learned to test my boundaries
Pulling against my corded restraints to the far reaches of their length
Only to be yanked back to where I belonged
Where I was safe
Where I had no control
I would sit in my bubble and think of life without my Chains.
I wonder what it feels like to be a real boy.
Would it be better?
Would I be happy?
To find out would mean losing my link to my maker.
My Geppetto.
And I wasn't ready to commit to that.
So in my bubble I would sit and ponder.
Sitting and wondering.
My conscience,
The jiminy cricket of my life,
stops me from making my choice,
You, the person who I had trusted with my heart, soul, and life.
You were guiding me down you're own path.
And I needed to go down my own
And so in a leap of faith, I chose.
That was the day I stopped letting other chose for me.
Cutting those strings hurt,
As if the thin wire was a part of me,
As if a took a saw to my dangling wooden limbs.
But through the pain, came reward.
I had finally done it
I was no longer a marionette waiting for my strings to be pulled.
I had become
A real boy.
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