Once upon a midnight dreary,
I lost my family and became teary.
As my paws became tired and hot,
I came up with an extravagant plot:
To feed on as many humans as I can
In hopes they don’t know it’s me, Dan.

I scratch my claws on my friend Brock,
Then I realized I was being a jock.
He then made a noise that was foul,
And I scurried onto my next prowl.

Hurriedly I stopped for a midnight snack,
In hopes to not lose my six pack.
I went for a healthier choice this time,
I decided on human meat that was prime.

Then I found myself upon a lioness,
I could not resist but to finesse.
We shortly ran off back into the wild,
Where we dreamed of raising a child.