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Depression
Depression isn't beautiful. Depression isn't aesthetic.
Depression is exhausting.
It's laying in bed all day, sleeping for hours on end, and when you wake up you still fell like you ran a marathon.
Depression is expensive.
It's trying new medications over and over again until you find one that helps you get out of bed in the morning. It's finding a therapist that doesn't cost your entire paycheck.
Depression is dirty.
It's piling up dirty clothes and still rewearing them because there's no point in washing them. It's not taking a shower, or not brushing your hair for days because you have no motivation.
Depression is lonely.
It's being invited to nothing because all your friends know you won't leave the house anyways. It's never having your phone ring because they know you wont answer.
Depression is worry.
It's having your period early, hair falling out, breaking out in rashes all because you're stressed. It's having bed sores or a sore back because you can't bring yourself to get out of bed.
Depression is repeat.
It's playing songs on repeat because you don't want to get up and change it. It's having the same urges repeat until you can't take it anymore and just want to scream.
It's not your story tale romance or some Instagram aesthetic. It's drowning in waves of sadness while everyone around you can breathe perfectly fine.
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I have suffered from depression for the longest time. I decided to put my emotions to use and cope in a healthy way by writing this poem.